Our brains, when under the influence of strong emotions, will generate thoughts consistent with those feelings.
When we are anxious, our thoughts magnify the difficulties of our situation and minimize our abilities to cope. When sadness takes hold, our thoughts focus on the negative aspects of our situation, ourselves and our future. When anger takes over, our thoughts spring from a narrowed and hurt sense-of-self.
These mood-congruent thoughts both perpetuate the same feelings and drive us to act in ways that make our situations worse. Caught up in anger and seeing only our own point of view, we can lash out. Overwhelmed by anxiety and doubting our own abilities, we avoid and withdraw. Stuck in sadness and seeing only the negative, we may give up and stop trying.
Applying the principles of cognitive behavioural therapy, we can step out of the automatic vicious cycles that get us stuck in negative feelings. The first step is to be mindful of our changing feelings. If we don鈥檛, we won鈥檛 see how our emotional states are influencing our thoughts and actions.
Mindfulness allows us to recognize unhelpful thoughts before they take hold. We can then challenge them with more adaptive thoughts that can get us out of those automatic cycles. With mindful and deliberate practice, we can replace old patterns of thinking, feeling and acting.
Here are some of the thinking traps we all fall into from time to time. Recognizing these common patterns can help you recognize them in yourself, challenge them and replace them with more balanced thoughts. The trick is to pick up on them as they arise from a compassionate perspective. Don鈥檛 beat yourself up.
All or nothing (black and white) Thinking: 鈥淚t has to be just right or it鈥檚 a total disaster.鈥� 鈥淚f I鈥檓 not perfect, I鈥檓 a complete failure.鈥�
Jumping to conclusions (mindreading and fortune telling): 鈥淪he did that just to hurt me.鈥� 鈥淭hey think I鈥檓 a total loser.鈥� 鈥淚鈥檓 going to fail this exam.鈥�
Overgeneralizing: 鈥淣othing ever goes my way.鈥� 鈥淣o one is nice to me.鈥� 鈥淓verything at school (or work) is all bad.鈥�
Magnification (catastrophizing) and minimizing: 鈥淚鈥檓 going to blow this quiz and then I鈥檒l fail the whole year.鈥� 鈥淭hat little success was nothing.鈥�
Negative labeling: 鈥淚鈥檓 a loser.鈥� 鈥淪he鈥檚 an angry person.鈥�
Personalization:鈥淚t鈥檚 all my fault when things don鈥檛 go well.鈥� 鈥淗e did that just to hurt me.鈥�
I鈥檓 sure you can see how these types of thoughts can make us feel worse about any situation, but what can you do once you鈥檝e caught yourself in a thinking trap?
Ask yourself, 鈥淚s there another way of thinking about this?鈥� 鈥淲hat would a loved one tell me in this situation?鈥� 鈥淲hat would I say to a good friend who鈥檚 thinking this way?鈥�
With practice, you鈥檒l come up with more adaptive and balanced thoughts that will actually improve your feelings about a situation and move you to act in a positive direction. For lasting changes, we have to harness the power of positive neuroplasticity 鈥� by rehearsing and reinforcing more adaptive ways of thinking until they become our new habits of thought.
Dr. Davidicus Wong is a family physician and his Healthwise columns appear regularly in this paper. For more on mindfulness, cognitive behavioural therapy and neuroplasticity, see his website at .
